Roller Coasters

I remember when I was a small “wide-eyed innocent” kid, I loved visiting amusement parks. These outings were rare (I do not come from a well-to-do family) and it definitely beats playing marbles in the neighborhood playground. There used to be one at Kallang. I love going onto those thrill rides, especially the roller coaster ones.

When I was a teenager, I still get the adrenalin rush from roller coaster rides. My first overseas trip by airplane after my “O” level examinations was to the amusement parks at the Gold Coast Australia. I went onto all the thrill rides available, especially loving the roller coasters.

When I was in my 20’s & 30’s, work gave me the opportunity to visit Florida twice. No prizes for guessing what I did. I went to all the different Disney worlds and took as many thrill rides as I could. I also made sure that I got my butt onto the highest and scariest roller coasters!

I love the anticipation, especially at the beginning where the roller coaster goes up the steep slope before plunging down on the other side; followed by the feeling of your guts dropping onto your feet. And then it does not stop until it reaches the end. You can never know when the next twist is coming, when the next upside-down is coming. I would normally scream my head off on these rides and then I will end the day with a bad headache, but a happy baby :)

Some people do not see the sense of roller coaster rides. You put yourself through the gut-dropping and liver wrenching fears and you achieved nothing in the end. You get off the ride at the end, the adrenalin rush stays with you for an hour or so and then life goes back to normal. Nothing has changed. I see it differently though. To me, life is all about experiences. It is our experiences that made us who we are and what we are.

For the past seven weeks, I was on a roller coaster ride. It was the biggest and longest roller coaster ride of my life ever. There were tons of ups and downs, twists and turns. I didn’t know where I was heading. When I thought the ride was ending, another upside-down twist came along. It went on and on. It came to a stage where I was desperately trying to get off the roller coaster ride. It had gone on for far too long; I was tired, confused, lost, helpless, sad, hurt; my life was turned upside down. I could not hang on anymore. I don’t eat well and I don’t sleep well. I cannot even think straight. I was a total emotional wreck. Days went by in a blur.

The worst part about this roller coast ride was not only did I get onto the ride; I had dragged people whom I love along. I can deal with my own emotions and pain but it kills me to see the people I love in pain and suffering as well.

I don’t know if I will ever recover from this roller coaster ride. It took a lot out of me. I don’t believe in time healing all wounds; it just allows me to understand certain things better.

Would I do anything to change the roller coaster ride I was on? Well, if being on that roller coaster ride allows me to understand things better and get to know people for their true colors, I would gladly go onto it again (in exchange for that truth).

Would I get onto another roller coaster ride ever again, even if it is the best/highest/longest one in an amusement park in Florida? I would say, “No, thank you. No other roller coaster in the world can top the one that I had just experienced.”